Some of you might think that I’m not playing by the rules but to be fair I didn’t accept your offer to play the game and truthfully, I could be at McDonalds and would let someone buy me a McFlurry just because they think I’m cute. (That actually might work better on me.)
In my personal opinion bars should be required to post two signs; “Photo ID Required” and “Buyer Beware.” I understand that some people use the purchase of libations as an excuse to talk to someone but in reality it’s a gift. I’m not required to ditch my friends and hang on your every word for the rest of the night because you’re out $12. I’m also not required to find out what your penis tastes like after last call because in reality the only form of gratitude you need for a buying me a drink is a thank you.
I had an experience where a guy (let's call him Dougie because that was his name) grabbed my arm and said “c’mon, I bought you a drink” and continued to badger me for some time about wasting his time when I wasn't interested in going anywhere or doing anything with him. Dougie then decided that a fair "compromise" would be for me to give him a hand job in the washroom.
First off, no. Doing hand stuff in a public washroom isn't a happy middle ground between leaving me the fuck alone and me waking up in your shithole apartment the next morning. Second off, if you are a grown man who pays taxes don't ask a woman to do something that is not only for 16 year olds, but something you can do better yourself.
I’m not some kind of monster sitting at the bar sighing loudly as if to say “won’t somebody buy me drink” so don’t feel the need to rush to my immediate aid as if my ample tits exist to ask for free drinks. I’m a grown ass woman who works all the time, I can buy my own drink but that doesn’t mean I don’t like gifts. Sometimes I even regift drinks I can’t fathom stomaching. (Seriously, who over the age of 17 drinks vodka slimes?)
If a drink is not just a drink, say so and I will refuse. No you cannot buy me a drink then lurk around me and my friends all night. No thanks, I’m good without a drink and you leering at my chest like it owes you something. I’m going to have to pass on your invitation to join you for a drink now and an overpriced cab ride home in the morning.
Am I cruel? I don’t think so. You’re the moron that wanted to spend your hard earned money to satisfy my liquor lust and I accepted that. That and nothing else. Am I a tease? Why, because I’m not interested in you? I don’t know any self-respecting man or woman who has ever felt in debt to some stranger over a drink. I've never tasted an old-fashioned that tasted like an unspoken sexual contract between two strangers. I'm not going to assume that every guy who buys me a drink is trying to sleep with me so maybe guys shouldn't assume that every girl they buy a drink feels obligated to them.
I like free stuff so I'll accept your gift of a free drink but that doesn't get you access to my pants. Some may argue with me that I'm being a bitch or misleading but there is nothing misleading about answer "yes" when the question is if I want a drink. It would be a different story if guys asked me, "are you interested in seeing my shitty IKEA "art" filled apartment later / can I buy you a drink?" and I lied answered enthusiastically to both.