If my Facebook feed is any indication being in your twenties and betrothed seems to be an anomaly as of late. Maybe I’m getting old but when it comes to racing down the aisle I can think of a handful of acquaintances that have crossed that finish line twice while I’m sitting here in my aptly named bachelor apartment uninterested in even attempting to earn a participation badge.
You read it here first, much to the delight of my Vietnamese-Catholic parents I have no desire to get married ever. While friends reassure me that I just haven’t met the ever-so-elusive “one” yet (you know, the one who’s supposedly going to make me change my mind on marriage) I have the upmost confidence that like children, uncircumcised penises and pineapple on pizza, marriage is not for everyone. I haven’t always felt this way and as a young girl growing up in suburbia I would often plan my dream wedding. (FYI: the colours I picked out where lavender and steel grey, the bouquet was peonies, the music was primarily The Smiths and Pixies and the groom had a killer smile.)
I used to joke about how marriage was the willingness to bet half of your stuff that you could unconditionally love one person forever but after a few failed relationships I see it as an tie that strains instead of binds couples who may already feel united. With marriage comes a set of societal rules whereas I find the notion of falling in love, growing old together and never getting married much more romantic. While I agree that marriage requires real love, maturity and commitment my argument is that any adult relationship requires those things regardless of martial status. I love the idea of waking up next to someone who is my partner-in-crime, thinks it’s cute that I collect Star Wars Lego figurines and makes me laugh every day. I love the idea that the same someone will listen to me when I’m upset, deal with the fact that I get really irrational when trying to pack and loves me just the same. What I find romantic as fuck is the going through all the trials and tribulations of a romantic relationship and never wavering because a piece of paper doesn’t make someone be by your side day in and day out.
Aside from religious reasons making a commitment to another person sans putting a ring on it no longer is a quintessential life decision. Cohabitation and having children out of wedlock is a thing, you know that, right? As long as he’s committed to me and I’m committed to him our relationship will always take priority to a piece of paper declaring our relationship.
If the plebs I went to high school with are the test subjects then the only conclusion to be drawn is that marriage is no proof that you have your life together more than anyone else. My conclusion? I hate to disagree with my girl, Beyonce, but if he likes it and he treats it with the upmost respect and adoration there’s no ring required.